My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
