I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
