It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
