I cockslap morals
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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