Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
