there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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