MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
