come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
