I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
