he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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