all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
