Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
time to smoke my breakfast
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
