The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
