Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
nutella sex= disaster
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
