am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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