have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
