oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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