My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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