walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just cropdusted the office
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your penis caused this!
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