You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love you. Go after that dick
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
