I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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