I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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