I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
