Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
