This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
