she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
As shirtless as possible
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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