people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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