she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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