He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
