I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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