my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
