I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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