I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was born a porn star she said
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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