she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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