I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
