3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
