quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
