i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
should my penis look like a turkey
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
