Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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