Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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