Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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