If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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