We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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