Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
