i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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