I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
