I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
