It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
