Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
