when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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