Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
